Cars of the Royal Wedding – Twitter edition.

When I woke up this morning I had absolutely no intention of watching any coverage of the big shindig taking place across the water. I have nothing against the Royal family and don’t subscribe to the ‘they’re British it has nothing to do with us’ brigade. It’s just that I’m not much for weddings. I enjoyed mine but since then have only attended two and those because I was part of the bridal party and didn’t fancy leaving an empty space at the top table – would have looked odd in the pictures!

Unfortunately ‘she who must be obeyed’ had other ideas and because its her ‘birthday weekend’ I am apparently not allowed to question her decisions. (Her rule not mine) so like any normal red blooded male I pulled out the smartphone and took to Twitter looking for something to pass the time. Unfortunately damn near every tweet in my timeline had some mention of the wedding – ‘I wonder who did her dress’, ‘Jeez Will could have taken a trip to Hair Restoration Blackrock’ etc. etc. ad infineum. It got so bad that I was just about to admit defeat and break the lawnmower out of hibernation when I caught wind of a wedding topic that was beginning to trend that seemed a tad interesting – #carsoftheroyalwedding.

On my timeline it was all started by Sniff Petrol, the man behind all the funny stuff from Top Gear, although it may have started earlier and I didn’t catch it.

That Royal Bentley’s no looker now is it. Like Mitsuoka ran out of time and welded on the back of a Hyundai XG30

Mr. Petrol continued with comments such as:

Today Range Rovers are like the police officers. Hanging around in the background looking smart.

Although the Rangies did not emerge unscathed with harrismonkey commenting:


Out of shot there are five Landcruiser V8s lurking just in case the Rangies drop a gearbox or diff.

Back to Sniffpetrol for his comment on the mother of the bride arriving in a one off Jag XJL

The BBC are drivelling on about dresses. Why aren’t they going live to Ian Callum literally BURSTING with pride?

In response to the Sniff Petrol coverage _PaulyP_ quipped in with

This is the worst car chase I’ve ever seen

The Royal Bentley received more grief in the form of

That ghastly Bentley really let the side down. William and Harry should have RAGGED IT to the Abbey in an Ariel Atom.

Which received Top Tweet status but my personal favourite was

“Philip, that man has offered us a trade-in for the Bentley. What’s a Nissan Qashqui…?

When Kate Midleton finally arrived to the Abbey teorichards said what the world was thinking

Did they have the fans on too cold in the Rolls? Kate’s smuggling raisins…

With the Royal couple indoors exchanging vows there then began an hour long attempt by Sniff petrol to convince the world that his wedding was just as cool as todays one and even posted up a picture taken on a closed Mall to prove so. Didn’t work though!

Once the bridal party emerged from Westminister Abbey and it became apparent that there would be serious drop in horsepower for the trip to Buckingham Palace Mr. Petrol was back to his best:

Oh no, no, no. This is no good at all.

Right, this is how this should go down. Couple in a stretched XKR cabrio, roof down, noisy pipes, Harry driving it like a MANIAC.

Queen and Prince Philip in a stretched Bristol.

Bridal party in a fleet of Ariel Atoms, SWARMING around the couple’s car like mechanical wasps.

Other Royals in red, white and blue Morgans

With the 4hp Landau carriage now taking centre stage Willbuxton commented:

Shame we’re not getting the carriage to pit radio on the slow down lap.

The reigning Monarchs carriage drew comment from harrismonkey:

Jeepers: Liz and Phil need to go five clicks of compression and at least three of rebound. Bars might need a look too.

With everybody settled into Buckingham Palace the #carsoftheroyalwedding feed went dead meaning that a lot of people actually missed out on William taking the missus for a joyride in his dads car.

This is only a small portion of the myriad of tweets that went out on this topic today. Have a search for #carsoftheroyalwedding to read more and as something of a #FF you have to follow @sniffpetrol – he doesn’t need a big state occasion to be funny but he certainly helped me through my afternoon.